Kayaking Epiphany

Today, as I was kayaking, I was more tired and even felt a little sick. This was not expected. I apologized to Alison for being a wimp and told her that I would paddle over to the nearby beach. Alison said: "You are not wimpy; you're just doing what God is telling you to do... Going to take some time to listen to God's desire." This reminded me of our Ignatian days, and I was very happy.

As I lay on the beach, my mind was so full... I remembered how Henri Nouwen wrote about taking time to listen to God's voice of love in our lives. This set me thinking on another topic: unconditional love.

As I lay on the beach with all my seasickness and vulnerability, I was listening to all the voices and people in my life that seem to be saying: "You are not good enough. Not good enough for me. You are not making the right decisions. You are not doing enough." As I stopped to observe the voices, something deep inside of me cried. I was sad. I recognized so fully why I was so tired. I recognized why we are encouraged to listen to God's voice of love in our lives. God's love is unconditional. We are told to get up and challenged to listen and be better, and yet there is also and always grace.

Grace has transformed my life, and as my relationships embody grace, I will continue to grow. None of us are perfect, and we struggle in our conditions and self-philosophies. But today on the beach, listening to the voice of God's love, I had the epiphany that I am meant to bolster this voice of grace on the earth. I believe that God has gifted us with different callings. I am, with all my weakness, intelligence, vulnerability, loveliness and myopia, meant to be a minister of grace in this world.

What makes a Desirable Life?

A process reflection for the 4th of July entitled "love to all"

Today, I ask: What makes a desirable life? Is it the life of the movies or the life of cultural conditioning-- earning all the laurels and money to make one comfortable?


I am a consequence of my education, and that education taught me that there is something of lasting value in standing with the poor-- To live a life of grace and laughter versus Sisyphusian Achievement.

Poverty has many faces... it is found on every continent: Some of its names are resentment, oppression, hatred, fear, talk that spurs division rather than community, etc.

As Mark Twain has written, however, "Courage is not the absence of fear. It is simply resistance to it."

I am a consequence of my faith. And Christ stood with people, stood beside people, and risked all for people. How to live in honor of that?

What makes a life desirable? Perhaps being close with those one loves. Being able to share freely of one's heart and mind and soul. And more so, risking, giving, sharing, caring for all: Faith. Grace. Peace. Love. What makes a desirable life? LOVE. love to all.

Gratitude

This day, I am grateful for:

familiar faces
time alone with my thoughts and notebook
deep-pointed questions
intentional sharing
the sun and breeze
the future
the past
the youth at my church

A little thought of the day.

Are Things What They Seem?

Perception.
Perceptive.

I have seen that some things seem true up close and others not so.... I have seen riddles solved at a distance or debacle at heights. The navigation requires time, the willingness to see, and the courage to make mistakes.

Perception.
Perspective.

Pokerface No!!!!!!

A Father's Day Poem

How Do We Forgive Our Fathers?

Dick Lourie*

How do we forgive our Fathers?
Maybe in a dream
Do we forgive our Fathers for leaving us too often or forever
when we were little?

Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage
or making us nervous
because there never seemed to be any rage there at all.

Do we forgive our Fathers for marrying or not marrying our Mothers?
For Divorcing or not divorcing our Mothers?

And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness?
Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning
for shutting doors
for speaking through walls
or never speaking
or never being silent?

Do we forgive our Fathers in our age or in theirs
or their deaths
saying it to them or not saying it?

If we forgive our Fathers what is left?

Forgiveness

FORGIVENESS

To forgive somebody is to say one way or another, "You have done something unspeakable, and by all rights I should call it quits between us. Both my pride and my principles demand no less. However, although I make no guarantees that I will be able to forget what you've done, and though we may both carry the scars for life, I refuse to let it stand between us. I still want you for my friend."
To accept forgiveness means to admit that you've done something unspeakable that needs to be forgiven, and thus both parties must swallow the same thing: their pride.
This seems to explain what Jesus means when he says to God, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Jesus is not saying that God's forgiveness is conditional upon our forgiving others. In the first place, forgiveness that's conditional isn't really forgiveness at all, just fair warning; and in the second place, our forgiveness is among those things about us that we need to have God forgive us most. What Jesus apparently is saying is that the pride that keeps us from forgiving is the same pride that keeps us from accepting forgiveness, and will God please help us do something about it.
When somebody you've wronged forgives you, you're spared the dull and self-diminishing throb of a guilty conscience.
When you forgive somebody who has wronged you, you're spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride.
For both parties, forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside their own skins and to be glad in each other's presence."

Frederick Buechner