Processing

Blogs. They are interesting. I haven't decided if they are the best form of processing... However, as I find myself enjoying the reality that I am a "processor," I suppose that this may be just a way to explore my thoughts.

Friends, this is the first thought. Somehow, I want life to slow down. It is going too fast, and I have been along aside it all the time, rushing it along by completing the lists of to-do's that follow my footsteps. This is good. This has been great. But as I just experienced the whirlwind of much travel-- setting foot in Chicago, good ole Weston Priory in Vermont, Upstate New York, North Carolina, and South Carolina-- I revisited so many important parts of myself... and now I feel like I am buzzing (mentally that is) trying to integrate all the pieces.

One of the most difficult challenges I am feeling is my sense that I somehow do not belong in my own culture, and yet I want to-- and I don't know what I would do if I were not in it. Strange. This is a strange feeling. But, perhaps this is just the reflection of a 27 year-old turned 87 year-old, but I am nostalgic-- Am I nostalgic for something that never existed? But today... somehow... so much of my culture seems to revolve around $$$$$ and busyness and convenience... and although I am afraid to give it up, I don't understand where the days of playing on playgrounds, dinner with the family, and all of this has gone. Is this adulthood? I hope not.